For 4 months

... I've gone MIA. All of the sudden I don't know how to write anymore. But many things are going through my mind lately. Don't even know which one to start with.

Done something silly with someone today. Think "someone" would know what I'm talking about. It was an unforgettable and yet hillarious experience which I think I will never forget. THANKS! :)

Have been mentally exhausted lately, trying to figure out what I have done wrong. I realised I got tired of having to take the initiative to apologise and to find out what the problem is. At the end of the day, it wouldn't last and even if it does, it won't be the same anymore. Despite how much I appreciated (and still appreciate) the friendship, my only hope is to obtain honesty and sincerity. I never stopped hoping and waiting for someone to answer my unanswered questions- I guess I'm beginning to give up. A friendship is extremely fragile, that's all I can say...

I've been doing many things which are not supposed to be done... Sometimes it's weird knowing what you are doing at that very moment is wrong, and will definitely hurt one party, and yet you still do it. It's like sin to the power of two. Should you listen to your heart, or your mind? If you listen to your mind, you'll be stuck in your current situation forever; and you listen to your heart, the consequences might be unbearable. I constantly remind myself to do the right thing, and yet it seems like the most difficult thing in the world to do. I hate myself for being so irrational and inconsiderate, I really do. I'm stuck here, with no where to go, no sense of direction, and hurting others... and probably myself in the end.