Sunday, August 29

I'd love to work with animals

I find it so difficult to work with people. It's probably a better idea to work with animals. At least they don't give you so much unnecessary trouble. Is there something wrong with me? Is there something wrong with the way I handle things? The problem could be myself. I don't know. I don't even know what I am talking about.

Wednesday, June 9








I hate being a substitute. I'm not a substitute OK!








Monday, May 31

Handicapped

Here I am, sitting in front of the monitor in my cubicle, thinking whether i should go for breakfast. HaHaha...

This morning, when I was trying to close my car's door, the keychain was stuck in between, and the 'boy' now is handicapped- hand-less and leg-less...

Prior to that incident, I've made a phone call which took me a lot of courage, however, in the end I was totally rejected...

I guess, God is trying to tell me to let go... Easier said than done, I know it's my choice to not let go, but I know eventually I'll have to...



Dear Father,
Please give me the wisdom and strength to go through this. It's probably one of the hardest thing I've done in my whole entire life, but I know with your guidance I'd be able to make it.

Saturday, February 20











When a same mistake has been repeated over and over again, you'll reach a point where you don't feel guilty about it anymore. You would not know whether what you're doing is wrong or right (actually you do know it's wrong), and it scares you when you're not feeling guilty about commiting the 'crime'- like how you used to feel.

Sunday, February 14

For you, on Valentine's Day


Here I am playing with those memories again, and just when I thought time had set me free, those thoughts of you keep taunting me.
Holding you, a feeling I never outgrew, though each and every part of me has tried.
Only you can fill that space inside- so there's no sense pretending, my heart it's not mending.

Just when I thought I was over you, and just when I thought I could stand on my own,
Oh, baby those memories come crashing through- and I just can't go on without you.
On my own I've tried to make the best of it alone- I've done everything I can to ease the pain but only you can stop the rain...





I just can't live without you, I miss everything about you...

Sunday, February 7

I hate this part



Do you know someone- whom you know you cannot meet, because once you met him, you just can't stop thinking about him?





I know someone who gives me that kind of feeling. And I hate this feeling.

Wednesday, February 3

Fugly me



I am pretty sure we all had times when everything that could go wrong, went wrong. Having insomnia lately- which is really not 'my disease' (because I'm truly a pig). A colleague of mine actually started calling me "zombie", ouch...

Work is beginning to suck lately- as much as I tried to stay/pretend positive, I guess there is a limitation somehow... Given a new task is challenging, unfortunately it turns out to be something which I stress about a lot. The new task makes me feel incompetent, inefficient, ineffective, incapable etc etc. Which I think is wrong- given my position as a trainee, to be given an opportunity like this, I am considered lucky. Besides, I am also given the chance to learn from a very experienced senior, which is supposed to be motivating but it turns out to be the opposite... and I have no idea whether it is right to feel this way... Sigh. enough of complaining.

And I dislike one particular colleague! o.O"

And I just realised that putting too much make up on makes u look really, really ugly and scary... :(

And I'm disgusted with myself. Urgh.

Sunday, January 31

Wedding dinner: A cartoon



Someone was extremely bored while waiting for a wedding dinner to start, so he begin texting me...

MMS # 1: "Gift from the hosts..."

MMS # 2: "Gift for my friend and I- combined."

MMS # 3: "Hahah... I guess I'm too free..."

MMS # 4: "New member- Stole another gift from the empty seat beside us."






For some odd reason, I find it adorable. I miss him.



Saturday, January 30


I miss...

Truthfully, I miss my unscarred leg. It has been a month, and the scar is still visible. Some might tell me that it is not visible (which I know is untrue), but I still need some time to accept a new "tattoo" on my leg. Sigh. I never knew how much this will impact me. I thought I'll be OK with it but somehow, it lowers my self-esteem. Hate to admit something my colleague once told me- "For a girl to have a scar on your leg... It must have impacted you a lot, right?"

OK, don't get me wrong. I don't mean to blame anyone, I understand it's merely an accident. I just feel like being honest with my own feeling. Acting like you don't give a damn about it when others ask, it ain't easy. But I guess for not, there is nothing I can do besides not giving a damn about what others might think/say, and wear short skirt as usual.



Mei Lee is hot with her scarred leg...... Not.

Sunday, January 10

A new life

Today, I took the first step.


Wore the usual mask, greeted everyone in the room.


Left my mask outside the room, and cried out loud.


New resolution.


New desire.


Peace of mind.


No worries, leave everything to Him.


A first step to a long journey.


I will continue.